The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat her latest blog relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal look at this site agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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